Sunday, March 16, 2014

Survivor Cagayan Week 3 recap poem (3/12/2014)

If you can't recall, last week Brice was sent packing
Setting up for some post tribal-council attacking.
Morgan asks Jeremiah why he changed his mind
in front of the whole tribe which puts him in a bind.

He's forced to admit his alliance of four
was forged earlier than her failed threesome core.
And Brice had a social game which was a threat.
Keeping him could later become a regret.

Then about Jeremiah, Morgan tells lies
to Alexis so she'd be wary of this guy.
Says he's gunning for LJ but for challenges needs him
so targeted Alexis as LJ's right hand woman.

Alexis isn’t sure Morgan should be believed
but it all sounds realistic and not just conceived.
On Jeremiah, she'll be keeping her eye
In case Morgan is truthful, lest her game go awry.

    “Can you see yourself as the leader?
     Can you see when your tribe’s about to fall?
     Can you see winning some protein?
     When you can’t see anything at all.”  - Tree Mail

We see Brain tribe get tree mail, which you have just read.
Then practice taking direction while they’re blindfolded.
J’Tia thought she’d be sent home both times prior.
She’d like to help win food since their rice supply is dire.

Commence reward challenge, find 5 items then team flag.
Hoist them to the caller, who best not be a nag.
Spoils to the winners and, oh, what a booster.
1st places gets 3 hens-a-laying plus a rooster.

Tasha, Alexis and Cliff call directions.
'Blind' teammates hit by obstacles in their mid-sections.
Morgan, Sarah and Woo sit to even the numbers.
Kass, Spencer, J’Tia hope not to look any dumber.

Jefra and LJ bring Beauty the early lead
Brawn starts with the farthest item, strategy indeed.
Two ‘blind’ ones on each team must do the hoisting.
One single and one from each pair that goes searching.

After LJ takes repeated impacts to his groin,
He carries objects out in front, saving his loins.
Spencer, Kass, Lindsey and Tony take hits as well
from barrels and fences. Sudden blindness is hell.

Luzon drops some items from hoisting uneven,
allowing Aparri a small room for breathing.
Solana won’t give up. Again finish in first.
Will Brawn team or Brains have their reward bubble burst?

As hoisted flag drops to the ground for Luzon,
Tasha tries to help J’Tia place it back on.
But Luzon takes too long. Brawn get eggs-reward glory.
Another win turned loss, the same old Brain story.

Beauty finds, in the chicken feed, hidden idol clue.
All are there to see it as LJ thinks ‘phew’
because this clue’s specific, anyone could have it,
but he’s already found it and for that he’s ecstatic.

Then talks of chickens and eggs, how it all happens.
Need rooster? Asexual? To get chicks, need heat lamp?
Thankfully, LJ explains bird eggs and reproduction.
Points out Alexis carries eggs. Rooster just provides fertilization.

Although just a male model, Jeremiah was raised in the country.
Takes the head off a chicken so his team won’t be hungry.
Morgan isn’t impressed as she eats by the fire.
Jeremiah’s “dumb as rocks” and is a “big fat liar”.

With the majority - that’s how Woo likes to roll.
Cliff’s got plenty of money and Sarah thinks he’s a troll.
Tony doesn’t trust Woo, but he lies like stone.
He’ll drag people’s dreams through the mud to fulfill his own.

    “Stranded on an island.
     It’s always sink or swim.
     You’re sunk today if you can’t sink the shot.
     Tribal council could be grim.” - Tree Mail

For this immunity challenge, NBA Cliff sounds perfect.
Barring some strange twist, Brawn tribe shouldn’t get wrecked.
But thanks to Tony, Sarah still thinks Cliff wants her gone
so she hatches a plan you’d expect from Luzon.

They might throw the challenge so they could vote out Cliff.
She knows Tony’s on board, then she convinces Trish.
Woo is more hesitant, knows the numbers are theirs,
but Sarah fears tribe mix-up. To keep Cliff? She won’t dare.

For the challenge, you’ll race to release bouys: 5
Each one 3 feet deeper so you’ll have to dive.
Once 5 ‘balls’ are collected two start taking shots
while others rebound misses since baskets are sought.

Alexis and Lindsey and Tony sit this time
since you can’t spend back-to-back challenges supine.
As history repeats, Beauty starts out ahead.
And Brains start with J’Tia, who falters to their dread.

En route to their 2nd bouy Sarah ‘misses’
But luckily it doesn’t look too suspicious.
Tasha then returns the first ball for the Brains
but Kass mimics J’Tia. Blanks again, what a pain.

Trish ‘tries’ twice fruitlessly causing Brawn to pause.
Cliff comes to the rescue, helping his own cause.
Spencer works his magic to help out his group.
Flawlessly, Beauty has all 5 and starts to shoot.

Tasha goes again: even she comes back blank.
So Spencer is all they have left in the bank.
Gets the 3rd and the 4th then the 5th in succession
in hopes of ending his team’s challenge suppression.

Meanwhile, Woo retrieves the 4th, then on the 5th,
he falters just briefly before it’s down to Cliff.
For Beauty, Jeremiah did all of the shooting,
winning again to prevent tribal council booting.

With Spencer exhausted, Tasha first takes aim
but misses, and J’Tia keeps performing the same.
Then Spencer starts shooting and he begins hitting.
But Cliff, on 1 knee, gets a rhythm - how fitting.

Rebounding J’Tia? Ball poked away further.
The look on Spencer’s face? Frustration and furor!
Cliff leads 4-2 despite Sarah’s slow rebounds.
Spencer needs three miracle shots from downtown.

Then Cliff, as expected, fulfilling a prophecy
sinks a fifth shot and his team wins immunity.
He saved himself even though he didn’t know it.
Brains lose even when someone else tries to throw it.

Tell the girls he’s an asset: All Spencer can do?
Without him there next time they’ll be down to two.
A loyalty card’s all J’Tia has - how absurd.
But might Tasha and Kass kick Spencer to the curb?

The two girls discuss options, and to prevent a riot
they won’t reveal their plan - at least they’ve learned to keep quiet.
Kass tells Tasha to keep either one is a risk
as the future is something she cannot predict.

At tribal we learn J’Tia is put in minimal roles
in all challenges so she doesn’t dig them into holes.
She thinks she’s not the weak link since it’s outplay AND outwit.
Jeff reminds them of outLAST which they’re forced to admit.

Spencer talks of the rice and J’Tia’s unpredictability
which can be as dangerous as disloyalty.
Tasha and Kass start to glance and to whisper
as Jeff notes decisions are happening right here.

Their decision might put them into the right groove.
Fans must be thinking “don’t make a stupid move.”
Spencer’s last plea? Just to give him a chance.
Loyalty. Strength in challenges. That is his stance.

And with that, J’Tia is voted out 3 to 1.
Luzon hopes that with this some good luck has begun.
Spencer was thankful. He’d been really concerned.
Good thing he played hard for this spot that he’s earned.

In the preview, Kass says that they’re not the brain tribe.
“We’re the crap for brain tribe.” will be her diatribe.
Then we see the big news that next week has in store.
“Drop your buffs! Brains, Brawn, and Beauty is no more.”

Friday, March 7, 2014

Survivor Cagayan Week 2 recap poem

Survivor starts off with a recap each hour
of what happened last time for you to devour.
Since I'm new at this, glad you didn't petition.
I left out team names / colors. Glaring omissions!

The Beauty tribe's purple, their name is Solana.
Alexis, Morgan, LJ, Brice, Jefra, Jeremiah

The Brawn tribe, Aparri, their buffs are orange-ish.
Sarah, Cliff, Tony, Lindsey, Woo, and Trish

Luzon is the Brains tribe and green is their color.
David, Garrett, Tasha, J'Tia, Kass, Spencer

On last week's premier it was Luzon who faltered,
losing David, then Garrett, their member list altered.

We see Luzon post tribal, J'Tia was saved
Kept the crazy rice dumper? Was that stupid or brave?
She'd been the clear target, but Garrett had failed
by being too candid with alliance details.

Then in came the rainstorm we saw in the previews.
Hands and feet wrinkled on cast and probably crew.
The rain and wind wouldn't stop, made some castoffs doubt.
Only Woo seemed to not care: It's what Survivor's about.

Tony decides to initiate Cops-R-Us.
Confesses to Sarah he's a cop she could trust.
She's glad to work with him, thinks they could go far.
And brags to the camera that she has cop-dar. (Editor's note for clarification: cop-dar is like radar or "gay-dar". Sarah's term, I'm just reusing.)

Although blue-blood runs thick, he'll lie to cause a stir
He tells her Cliff and Lindsey have targeted her.
Although Lindsey likes Sarah, Cliff sees her as too smart;
A complete fabrication for this Cops-R-Us start.

On Beauty tribe stereotypes start to surface.
Men gather wood/palm fronds, girls do nothing on purpose.
For Jefra this rain is depressing and yucky.
Too much for this teen beauty queen from Kentucky.

Since day 1 when Morgan emerged from the ocean,
LJ suspects idol searching caused that motion.
He uses the downpour as cover to seek.
No clues, finds immunity. Man what a week.

Next, notification of challenge in tree mail
It may involve passing of water between pails.
Tasha dictates that Luzon should practice for this bout
and that Spencer should want to since they might vote him out.

Sea water and coconut halves are repurposed,
practicing while editors play songs from the circus.
Could this preparation turn out to be useful?
Or will all that matters is just to be youthful?

At the challenge, once Brawn and Beauty had arrived,
surprise that the three Brain girls again 'survived'.
Since green's down 2 players, each tribe sits that many;
Alexis and Jefra and Tony and Lindsey.

Pass water and bucket from teammate to teammate
by throwing the whole thing each time about 10 feet.
Then after 2 passes, the 3rd throws just water.
Catch all that you can, fill pail on teeter-totter.

Aparri is first done with water collection.
Filled their final bucket. Start the next direction.
A ball in a circular vertical maze,
two ropes used to rotate this last challenge phase.

Beauty starts maze puzzle ahead of Luzon,
who despite all that practice, is last to move on.
Brawn Cliff and Brawn Woo solve the puzzle in first,
but could Luzon manage to not finish third?

Jeremiah and LJ hit stumbling blocks
leaving time for Luzon to experience luck.
Spencer and Kass make some key game-time progress
and manage to terminate their streak of losses.

Probst says to Luzon that he'll miss them at tribal.
Luzon agrees ... they probably won't cry though.
Brawn also wins blankets and pillows and tarp.
A tarp for Luzon and a winning streak start?

Tony looks through his team's challenge victors' haul,
finds a clue to the idol, he still has them all.
Sarah tries the new hammock and, you know what?
Lindsey gets her wish, Sarah falls on her butt.

At Solana, scrambling begins in earnest.
Brice and Morgan's feet seem to be in the furnace.
They lobby Jeremiah to vote for Alexis
but he won't agree unless they convince Jefra.

Jefra hesitates to turn on her ally,
then multiple talks of votes ending in a tie.
If voting is 3-3 it could go to rocks
Generally speaking everyone thinks that sucks.

With worry of idol from Morgan or Brice
The other four think 2-2-2 could work nice.
LJ has the idol, he isn't afraid,
not worth it to tell them, it could help him get paid.

Little do they know Jeremiah might flip,
voting Alexis out so he can run this ship.
In the end Jeremiah stayed true to the four,
fearing the alternative would have angered more.

The 1st vote 2-2-2, then second 3-zero.
Poor Morgan and Brice were left without a hero.
It was Brice who was ousted so Morgan could stay.
If lucky, next week she'll flirt her troubles away.

The preview for next week? Brawn tribe might get risky.
Throw a challenge to blindside your own? Often iffy.
Blindfolded bodies hitting objects hard,
a classic challenge, retrieve things from a yard.

Sunday, March 2, 2014

Survivor Cagayan (Brawn Brains Beauty) Premier - recap rhyme

Last week brought with it the Survivor premier.
A night of excitement we get twice each year.
My thoughts and analysis follow with rhyme.
A recap of sorts; Hope you have a good time.

Introduced are three tribes: Brains, Beauty, and Brawn
Right out of the gate they become Jeff Probst's pawns
Each must choose a leader, first impressions alone
then the leaders chose weakest whilst inside they bemoaned.

Brawn Sarah? She chose Trish, slightly older but wise.
She's a tough chick from Boston but wasn't surprised.
Then LJ, who mused that his beauty was inner,
chose Morgan, the hot girl - a flirty soon-winner?

Brain David, with suit coat, his choice quickly came.
Garrett could be dangerous late in this game.
His choice, it left Probst with a much puzzled look
To choose strength and not weakness, and little time took.

Probst then told the fate of these weaklings, three.
Sent ahead; one decision to make for their teams.
The three were relieved to still be in the game
but a decision for all, that could lead to disdain.

Garrett was the first to read his choice to you
Twice the rice for his team or a lone idol clue.
To him the decision was quite the no-Brainer.
An idol for him could only help him later.

Trish was more pensive - help team or help self?
In the end she picked rice showing trust, and for health.
Morgan was more sneaky, like LJ suspected
She searched for the idol in case she's rejected.

Garrett followed the map to his tribe's waterfall
and attached to a rock was his coveted haul.
Morgan went searching near rocks by the beach
but tribe arrived fast before idol was reached.

The Brawn tribe was thankful - good will it bought her
Garrett dodged the question and spoke of the water.
Morgan came up with a devious ruse
Claimed she gave up comfort for tools they could use.

At Brawn tribe Sarah suspects Tony's a cop
but he denies all, fearing strategists get popped.
Tony says that if he'd been chosen the weakest
He'd have searched for the idol, not settled for meekness.

Brainiac J'Tia leads construction of shelter
sits and gives directions, but it seems helter-skelter.
Tasha sits, shelter collapses from construction shoddy
making J'Tia's early Survivor worth spotty.

Next began the first challenge for Immunity
objects hit, chains snagged, brain tribe fell back quickly
disassemble your cart, it and trunks passed through rails
trunks opened, fell pieces of puzzle. Brain fails!

The puzzle part came down to Brawn vs. Beauty
First team wins reward, both win immunity.
Brawns Sarah and Lindsey solved well this 3rd day
but lost to Alexis and and leader LJ.

At Brain camp: discussons - Garrett, David, or J'Tia
The tribe must decide to whom they will say "see ya".
Kass says straight to J'Tia that she's leaning towards her
But then Garrett and Tasha indicate they're not sure.

Garrett decides David, claiming that would be best,
but Spencer's fear of an idol provides him unrest.
Tribal council had lightning and thunder and rain
and discussions of who in the tribe was a pain.

In the end it was David sent packing along.
His mid-game strategy made him seem too strong.
Episode 1 is over, now what do we do?
Thanks to CBS, we start episode 2.

Garrett dislikes manual labor and starving.
Thought it'd be an adventure with only the good things?
He and Spencer tried to recruit Kass to their side
realizing she was a swing vote after last night's blindside.

On Brawn, Woo, Trish and Lindsey bonded with Cliff
an ex-NBA all-star who flipped their outriggered skiff.
Beauties Jeremiah, Brice and Morgan form bonds.
Start targeting Jefra, is it just cuz she's blond?

Brawns Lindsey and Trish get in a verbal tussle
over work life at camp, although both seem to hustle.
To launch a stealthly strategic eavesdropping attack,
Tony layers many palm fronds. He's building a spy-shack.

Again for immunity, swim, untie, fetch fish traps
then a puzzle commences, no time for a brain lapse.
Brawn/Beauty sit one each, and America gripes,
as both sit their black man. Darn stereotypes!

Amazingly Brain tribe jumps to quite the lead
A win here's important, it's just what they need.
The Brawn tribe in second, don't want to be duds
but two become injured - begin loosing blood.

J'Tia starts solving the puzzle with much time
Lead quickly erodes. Brawn hits the finish line.
Sarah solves this fish puzzle, and does it with flair.
Leaving Brains to beat Beauty so they could be spared.

J'Tia has 1 piece, but needs to solve all 8.
With Beauty almost back, this drama is great.
LJ starts the puzzle and solves it with ease.
Brains meager 2 pieces - a tough loss indeed.

Reward for the Brawn tribe: spices and fishing supplies
In the basket, an idol clue found by Tony the "spy".
Immediately went off to search in a pond
and found his advantage tied submerged to a log.

Brain tribe, led by Garrett, held an open vote forum
In confessional, Spencer declared him a moron!
J'Tia was told it would be her to go
Tasha's side talk and strategy? Garrett declares, No!

They would sit in the shelter with no game-play speak,
but later Kass and Tasha go wash their feet.
Garrett and Spenccer join them, J'Tia left with ire
How does she react? Dumps the rice in the fire?!

At tribal they tell Jeff J'Tia's a jerk
but Jeff explains that's why, so well, blindsides work.
Garrett talks of alliance, then backtracks to team
his semblance of control quickly losing steam.

Kass betrays this "alliance", Garrett's ousted 3-2
Couldn't work with that numbskull. I can't blame her, can you?
And amazingly, twice being told to her face,
the rice dumper survives removal from this place.

In the show's final moments we just couldn't believe
Garrett, Poker player, kept his ace up his sleeve?
Not quite, as the idol was left back at camp.
As a fan I must give the Brain tribe a "Dumb" stamp.

With that comes the end of this springtime premier
The Brains tribe with heads firmly stuck up their rears.
Will next week go better? They'll certainly try.
I'll be watching on Wednesday, same place and time.